12.5.10

Victoria's Way of Having a List, Without Having a List

on 8:24 AM

I think I should make a public apology to my hypothetical husband. Why? Because he has to be the most (hypothetically, speaking of course) crazy man alive.

I have so many qualifiers. And they are ridiculous. Warning: drinking warm liquids during reading this may cause you to spew quite a bit onto yourself.

  1. You're going to be a lumberjack.
  2. You're going to love flannel.
  3. You're going to forgive my cigar-smoking, beer-drinking, sometimes swearing mouth and accept that I am classy (mostly).
  4. You're going to love little children.
  5. You're going to have a beard. (Insert the Love My Lips song from the Veggietales here because every time I hear the word beard, my inner chorus begins singing "She had a beard and it felt weird...")
  6. You're going to love that I can sing the theme songs to most every show I adored as a child.
  7. You will embrace that I like things a lot or I just don't like it all. I will eat vegetables, fruits, mac and cheese until I cannot stand the smell of the, go on a hiatus, and then start back into my love fro them.
  8. You will not drink Pepsi and will embrace that red can of Coke like it is your very own.
  9. You will accept that beer-drinking me really prefers hard ciders and fruity drinks (well, mostly).
  10. You will sing along to my stupid songs or you will sing your own.
  11. You will love animals, but won't make me love dogs because sometimes I really don't like them.

And, things I will never apologize for..

  1. You will love God, more than me.
  2. You will love people.
  3. You will love children. (You don't have to want them; I will convince you of that.)
  4. You will love cupcakes, because I love to bake them.
  5. You will love laughter and laugh at jokes of all varieties.

You better exist hypothetical man or I will be sorely disappointed.


*This is spurred out of my temporary discontent with being single. I just know there's a bearded, flannel-wearing lumberjack waiting for me to call his lady.

1 comments:

Tabs the NPC said...

I bet there's someone who meets that list in Alberta or BC. Plenty'O Lumberjacks in them parts of the world ;)

5/15/10, 11:23 PM

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