"Assumptions are the termites of relationships." Henry Winkler
I wanted to address assumptions. Making Assumptions is a name that we pulled from a conglomeration of sources. I assume that everyone makes assmptions. (See what I just did there? If you missed it, reread until you understand it, or hit ALT + F4 quickly.)
It is easy to assume that things are one way or another way, because that's simply the way that they look from the surface. But, in all actuality, once you scrape past the top layer, everything changes.
I am single, therefore many people assume that something is wrong with me.
Let's get this soapbox out of the way so you don't have to hear my drone on about it at a later dater.
Singleness is not equal to leprosy.
In fact, I may say the most unorthodox Christian thing to say: I am happy in my singleness.
Let that really sink in, right now I am completely happy being a single 20 something! Here's my quick list as to why:
- I live with my best friend!
- I get to spend my money on what I want. (I will not get into my belief that all money is God's money, but for the purpose of speaking about frivilous perks: I buy all the shoes I want to.)
- I watch what I want to. I listen to what I want to. I read what I want to. I wear my pajamas around the apartment. I get to be comfy in this space that isn't consistently flooded with a Man-Being. (Also, I am not a man-hater. I just am really glad for nights where I can throw on PJs, and veg with my Ladies.)
- I can wake up on Saturday and say "Let's do lunch" and my best friend and I can end up in the big city discovering new food. I don't have to answer to anyone or anyone else's plans.
- I can volunteer my free time. (What? Yes, you heard me correctly. I can commit to volunteering at church every Sunday because I don't have a man to go out to eat with after church. I get to invest my time in small people that I don't take home and feed, bathe, and put to sleep every evening.)
- All of my changes in lifestyle aren't made to please a man, but to please myself and made within Christ.
- I get to have nights out with my girls and not feel like ages have to go inbetween them.
- I get to grow up and experience life independently or as interdependently as I want to.
I think that if a lot more single men and women would speak out in Church against the plague of stereotypes of incompleteness until you're rocking rings, the world would change. I am not offended by the "marrying age" increasing. There's a lot more people living their lives and discovering themselves instead of awkwardly doing it through their marriages.
I am not a raging mad woman about being completely independent. I love and adore my relationships with my friends and my family. I also love getting to know my limits and my personality as I grow up and get out into the world. I don't want my personhood based solely on what I have come to know about myself through a relationship and nobody really wants to marry someone who doesn't know themselves with you in the picture.
Also, I love my friends that are in positive, healthy relationships and marriages. I love their examples and their witness through their non-single statuses. I just know that there is nothing in the Bible that says "You will be burned in Hell for not marrying quickly and marrying well."
My soapbox rant is over with. Comments?
2 comments:
Hey I found your blog off of 20 Something Bloggers and my 2 friends and I just started a blog with kind of the same idea- 3 single girls trying to navigate the dating world of DC. But I really like your blog post here. I hate how people think that being single is a character flaw! Ridiculous!! But keep posting!! Love the blog!!
xoxo,
Sweet Dee
I am completely with you on this. I often find myself struggling because I feel like I should be married by this age, and that something is wrong with me that I'm not at least in a relationship.
But then when I think about it, there is so much I can do now that I wouldn't be able to do in a relationship (going out with the girls isn't one of them, cause I can't really say I have any...).
I've also come to learn that its going to take a very special type of guy to be compatible with me, because I am far more free-spirited when it comes to life than most. I'm also very-independent, and it will take a really strong individual to be able to be the leader in that relationship.
So you know, as much as there is a huge part of me that desperately wants to marry and start a family, at the same time, I'm content to wait on God, because if He hasn't put that guy in my life yet, then obviously there's a lot more left for me to do as a single. :)
Post a Comment