Don't Assume Anything

Today while changing diapers, one of the fun duties of working with children, I noticed that I had to catch every child like they were doing a trust fall off the diaper changing table. Each child would either jump straight forward after they were changed into my arms or they would just fall backwards into me. Not one child hesitated, questioned if I could catch them, if I was strong enough, or if I would be there, each one would just jump or fall back right into my arms. I tried to think of ideas why they would do this, some of these included, a baby version of cliff jumping, they were adrenaline junkies, they were secretly trying to get rid of me by giving me a heart attack when they jumped off the table while I wasn’t ready, or probably the most likely reason is that I have always been there to catch them. I have never once just left the table to do something else and let them jump off and fall, so from experience they know I will always be there to catch them.

This makes me think to my own life, I don’t like to jump off that table, to trust that a God who I can’t see will catch me every time. So I fight, I ask questions a Home Land Security interrogator would be proud of, and still stare over at that edge. Where did I learn that He wouldn’t be there to catch me, has He ever just left and let me fall? The answer is no, but from the amount of scars on my heart I have fallen off that table, hit the floor and have been hurt plenty of times. Have I lost you yet, you are probably asking if God always was there to catch you why did you fall? The answer is I wouldn’t let Him catch me, or I would try to jump off into someone else’s arms that weren’t strong enough to catch me. True some people tried very hard to catch me they tried to be there all the time, they tried to be strong enough, but just when they left for a second, I would jump, or the weight of my problems would just be too much for them. So each story would end up the same, with me broken on the ground wondering what happened.

God really is the only one that has been there the whole time waiting for me to jump; He is the only one that has power enough to catch me. It is hard when the memory of the fall is so close, but the feeling of the catch, the arms surrounding you, protecting you, holding you is truly worth the vulnerability of the jump. I still hesitate and question, but I hope someday to be more like a child free falling into His arms.