I can guarantee you this segment is something that you will see referenced multiple times in the future of Making Assumptions. This idea spawned one night from late-night conversations and slap-happy conversations.
So, without further ado, I unveil to you my version of "Check Please".
We all know that there are deal-breakers when you encounter men in your life that you consider dating. The second they exhibit any of these natures, mutter any of these phrases, you are highly inclined to shout, "CHECK PLEASE" and run screaming into the night.
This is my list and does not encompass the full views of Sasha or Loralie. In the future be on the lookout for their contributions.
- "That's a lovely shade of lipstick that you are wearing. What's it called? Where can I get some?
- "Yeah, I used to be a Christian too, but then I thought, 'Hey, why not be your own god?'"
- "You'll just love my mother when you meet her. She definitely screams 'Mother in law material'."
- "Hey, it's so cool that we're 'just hanging out', you know, no strings attached."
- "I love going Dutch."
- "Last night as I was listening to Hannah Montana..."
- They are rude to the waitress.
- They trash talk everyone you know.
- They try to "one-up" every story that you tell. (Every story that they tell you has to be more extreme, cool, crazy, dangerous, sad, etc, than yours.)
- They check out other women, obviously while in your company.
- They belch, burp, fart, pick their teeth, or begin flossing while at the table.
- They bring their own toothpicks to use while eating.
- They slurp their spaghetti.
- They floss with their spaghetti.
- They floss with your hair.
- "You are prettier than a Volkswagon Beetle."
- "My exgirlfriend was _____________" this applies in first date situations primarily. Negative or positive things can follow and it still be a tad bit inappropriate to go that direction on a first date!
That's all for now. Do you have any "Check Please" moments?
2 comments:
LMFAOOOO!! that was just to funny.
Victoria, I sure hope you haven't experienced all these things! That's some bad luck.
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